Danica

I feel trapped. I can't move my body, it's almost as if I have lost control over it. Everything feels hazy. It's like I'm watching myself as a 3rd person as if a movie is playing and I'm just a spectator.

A spectator of my own life.

I'm lying in the pool of blood. Is it my own or someone else's? I don't know. My hands are covered with it, my white sheets which i thought would be so aesthetically pleasing are also stained with it. The blood seems to have frozen on it except the continous fall of drops from the edge of the bed I'm lying on. It would be so hard to clean these stains. I should have gone with those maroon sheets. Next time I will. I touch my wrist, it hurts and suddenly I'm drowning. I can't breathe. I look around and it's just water. I thrash my legs, an unsuccessfully attempt to get out of the water. Everything is blur. Even I'm not me.

Wait. This a dream.

I open my eyes and take a deep breath. I realize I'm gasping. I calm my breathing telling myself I'm safe. Or am I? I can't see anything, it's pitch black. Did I sleep with an eye mask? I didn't. After a tiring day of teaching kids at school, I went to grocery shopping. Then I returned to my apartment and made pasta for myself. I ate that while watching the latest series I got hooked onto. I was just on season 2.

Then I went out for a walk to clear my mind and also to achieve my goal of 10k footsteps per day. I don't remember anything after that. My brain is a little foggy.

I realize I'm blindfolded. Anxiety forms in my stomach but I try not to panic. Maybe it's another dream. A very weird and realistic one.

I try to move my hands and legs but I can't. They are chained.

Gosh What is happening?

My body goes in panic mode and I rapidly move my body with all the force, in an attempt to break these chains or wake up from this dream. Neither happens. All I end up doing is hurt myself. I can't break these, they are made of iron. I can hear it clinking.

Where am I?

My brain is immediately filled with various thoughts as I start realising this is definitely not a dream. Why would someone do this to me? I'm a normal teacher with no rivalry. Except for that monster in my past. I try to control my heavy breathing as tears form in my eyes. This is not the time to cry. There must be a way. I cannot die like this.

I lay there silently, not knowing how much time has passed or for how much time I was unconscious. If I'm chained, then there must be a person who put me in this position.

"Hello?" I say, trying not to loose my composure. My throat is dry, I need water. I lick my lips but even my saliva has dried up. I was drugged.

Oh god. I am going to be raped and tortured.

"No. No. NO. NO."

"LET ME OUT" I shout while pulling my hand with all my strength. No reply. No freedom from the chain. "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?" I say, my voice breaking a little bit. I must sound so weak. I hate it.

I shout again and again until I physically can't do it anymore. Yet no replies. My hands and legs hurt from being pulled so much. My chains are long. Long to tie me like a bat. My whole body is so open, I realize how much vulnerable this makes me.

I'm lying on something soft. It's a mattress. I don't know if the mattress is spread on the floor or on bed. I'm still wearing clothes, I can feel them on my body. That means nothing happened till now. I don't know about the future.

Now all I have to do is wait. Wait for what my destiny holds next.

My eyes closed on their own. Not much difference from when they were open. The drug's effects haven't fully worn off so I fall asleep again thinking next time I'll wake up, I'll be in my apartment.